First day of class

student #1

I didn't get the job.
The letter came on Saturday.
I was lying on the couch, holding Beckam and watching The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
Andrew flipped it from the stack of mail,
"You'll probably want this one."
As soon as I saw it, I knew.  The position had been filled, by someone else.
I read it.  The letter was short, courteous and precise.
Beckam shifted his weight and I snuggled deeper into him.
Relief.
In the days following my interview, it became clear.  I cannot be his Mom and their employee.
One will have to suffer.
Either I will be scrambling to care for my children, or I will be coming up short as McGillis' art teacher.
It is not time.

I was somewhat disappointed.

Student #2

I mean, how can an interview go any better than that!
I guess I'll never know why they
didn't hire me.
But I am grateful, because they chose right.

If anything I want to slow down.
I want to make Mickey Mouse pancakes for breakfast and pile them with blueberries.
I want to teach Pepper how to read.
I want to cook colorful dinners for Sophie.
I want to serve her a palate of purple, orange, red and green.
It makes her feel loved when I feed her vegetables and good sources of protein.
Why would I not encourage that!
However, in my haste, I throw toast and prepackaged bars at her.
She flicks her eyes sideways at me in quiet dissapointment.
I can do better.
I want to give my children all that I would my students.
My creativity, my art, my patience, and my hands flailing wide in passionate explanation of what is possible.
They are only here for a little while.
I don't want to waste it because I am confused or dilluted in my efforts.

I didn't get the job, and it is the best thing that could have happened.
It opened my eyes to who I am supposed to be teaching right now.
And it's not someone else's kids.
It's mine.

Student #3